I'll be honest. I'm not much of an online gamer. I've worked with people who are super hardcore Xbox 360 Call of Duty guys who like to kill each other when they are not at work. They've told me I should get a Xbox so I can join them. I remark that if they wanna shell out the 300 bucks for the system, 50 for the game and however much for the online services, I'll be more than happy to! Suffice it to say, I'm not much into multiplayer. One of the reasons is because I don't really have the games that support it. I have The Conduit, which I've yet dared to enter into what I can only assume would be hostile territory full of people who spend way more time on The Conduit in a day than I have since I bought the game. Why not The Conduit 2, you ask? Simple: I'm a cheap skate gamer and it's not at that magical 20 dollar mark yet. And even when it hits that mark, I'll still have to have the 20 bucks to get it.
However, today the kids were napping and I had a couple of glorious hours to myself. I spent a few minutes getting a couple of stars in Super Mario 64, but that felt a little bit... unfulfilling. So I popped in Mario Kart. And I thought "what the heck?". I've raced online a couple of times in the past and did not fare so well. I thought I was pretty good. I had gotten the gold in every cup and unlocked about every character in the game. Surely I'm decent, right? Unfortunately, I do not live and breathe the game as others do and anytime I got even a 4th place finish, it was a miracle. So screw that. I'm a grown adult (as opposed to the ungrown variety of adults) and I have better things to do than have a few 12 year olds laugh at my Beverly Hillbilly-like maneuvering. After that, it was all about racing ghosts online. I've won a lot more of those than lost, so it's easier on the ego.
Today, I popped it in again. The first race I raced today, I won. I felt like the king of awesome. Surely, much like my hometown Dallas Mavericks, destiny was on my side for once. First place, baby! Then my three year old daughter started crying from upstairs and the king of awesome had to put his game away. I dealt with her and got her calmed down enough to get back to sleep and thought I'd try to put the ol' Wii Wheel back in action. Surely, momentum was on my side. Much like Dirk Nowitzki, I would rear up in the fourth quarter and will myself to victory! I came in about 4th or so, but then I won again! 3 races, 2 wins! I should have booked my flight to Vegas right then and there!
But then the mighty fell. The screen became more populated and in Mario Kart land, that simply means chaos. Red turtle shells rained down from the heavens, lightening struck me with frequency and uncanny timing (usually as I was jumping over a chasm). 8th and 9th place finishes became the norm and that was me being lucky. I started remembering why I don't visit online play very much. It reinforces how utterly mediocre a player I really am. Ah well. The throne was a nice place to sit on, even for a short while. And the memory of that might entice me to jump online more often.
Maybe tonight, after the kids are in bed, I'll even attempt The Conduit online. If I'm brave enough.
My Mario Kart Friend Code is 0303-3247-0244 if anyone is interested. If you add me, don't be surprised if you don't see me often, but I'll try to make more of an effort in the future.
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